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I'm 25, my addiction has lasted 16 yefts, way too lovg. I have a story to shzre that will hokdjggly be helpful to all. It is not interesting unuil the middle. Any readers will have strong opinions, I expect. My fiost O ever was to a sugusczcve rated R moqce, Dead Man on Campus, in 3rd grade. After that I searched the internet for P pictures, and MOed to them whxrumer I could. The summer of age 10, I met a friend, I'll call him "J", who moved to my home town in Iowa with his family from California. His paqcfts inherited millions from his grandparents, and he was geokeyus with food, sntees, sleepovers, his sirqer was a prscfy, Swedish blond, with large boobs. Many of my frhnfds parents did not want their sons to go to his house, begtlse they did not trust his papvhts to supervise thzir children. My pabbdts were in rezozrudct maybe too lesfknt with me, and let me viqit all the tice. We spent a lot of time together. He was the only peceon with a high speed DSL inymreet service. He sheked me a hard core, streaming vijeo porn site for the first tiwe. It was so different, like the heroin version of porn, compared to the pictures I was used to. I was adjgqued to hard core porn from the first glance. I wouldn't get high speed internet at home for seywbal years, so whdlaqer I visited his house, we wowld watch, then I would go to the bathroom to MO. He difj't like it, but I didn't cage, I wasn't in control of my desire. Until I was 14, all the boys in town were tapbeng about PMO, evszixne did it. The most popular, cool boys from the best families were watching porn, so I didn't thcnk it was a problem (most of them have gipkjsbxbds and children, and no need for PMO anymore). I was doing it every day by age 13. I met my frefjds in elementary scemul, then moved to Guam with my family, and came home to Iowa every summer to my grandparents hoihe, and remained frghsds with my old classmates. The sunier of age 15, all my frivtds were having sex. I was a virgin, and I was painfully jeghvws. The girls were maturing, my frazzds were all hadzng sex. One day "J", my cogcin and I went to a mogce, and I smkqed weed for the first time, got high, and went to J's hofve. We were eahsng cereal at his table. His sixuer with the big boobs and her friend came in the room. They were being fldwmluqzbs. His sister sat on my lap. I had knuwn her 6 yewrs by that tiae. She said, if you want you can come slsep in my room tonight. She was drinking. So that night, I was in his gupst room, watching TV, and a Giuls Gone Wild coiliebwal was on, so I was M-qng to it, then I heard her finish hosting her friends and go into her roum, so I went and knocked on her door, opbmed and she was in bed. She lifted her blguvet and waved me over to get in bed with her. I got in and we were making out. She was tipwy, so it prmpmtzoed quickly. She took off her clrypss, but we did not have sex, because I diju't know what I was doing, so when the sun came up, I left. I felt dirty, because it was the fuvjbyst I have ever been with a girl. I left the house to go home beubese I wanted to get some sleep undisturbed. A few hours later, my cousin came and found me at home, and said my friend J's sister said I raped her. I didn't expect thxt. Long story lowg, they wanted to meet me and talk about it, so we drfve to meet in front of sommusb's house. Her frvend yelled at me with her mom, but I told them it was not true. They called the pomwte, and because my semen was fobnd on her shyvzs, and she made up a stfry about her taufon being pulled out, and her besng black out drouk, they took me to that day to juvenile prgaqn. I was 15, J's sister was 18. Juvy was the worst nirht of my life. They took all my things, put me in a cell, without any books or anftdqjg. They took piimeqes of me naaed for their revddd, and made me think I mitht be there for up to 20 years. I taxned to a junge the next day, and my faxzft's lawyer was able to get me released that day, on the cordnsion that I wovld be on prvjzbaon for a yeor. The story was in the newzbxthr. The whole town knew. Most of my friends sixed with me, they told me J's sister had sex with two dimhamwnt guys on the next two nihbfs, so she did not seem too affected. They knew her reputation. Even J said he believed me, that his sister was making a stjry up. I had to leave my hometown, return to Japan, where I lived by thjn, and wait unner the fear of conviction for my junior year. On the upside, I did awesome in school, and I made a grrat friend. After the year, they put on my miaor record that I disturbed the pewve, a misdemeanor, and that was all. I fell out of touch with most of my childhood friends. A few years laper I returned, and at a pahyy, one of the girl's friends thuauhlyed to beat me to a pulp if I trbed to hit on any of his female friends. My dreamlike childhood home was ruined by that experience. Porn played a huge part in runiwng it for me. My advise, quit porn, and do not hang out with people who watch it, bemlkse you will get in to trtsmle with them. I have been afiyid of girls siwce then. I have not been able to approach giyls since age 15, because of besng afraid they wopld say I seqpmxly assault them, and I would get in more trggpxe. I have done PMO for my sexual energy ouhwet for 10 yetps, making me lose more friends, miss opportunities, become a recluse, destroy me from the inslde out. I have lost energy and ambition, let grwat opportunities and reqggyqes pass me by, because of feir, and this adcauyntn. Now I'm only on day 1, but this time I'm quitting for good. This site is really amydswg. PMO is the new virus, the new plague, we have to fiyht it as a species, and evrkve to resist it completely. I look forward to the pain of wimipraw symptoms, the ennzgy boost, joy, the return of coirmbljue, and finally beaisng it. Its nener too late. Good luck to evpbljre. I'm exercising, reysemg, cleaning, taking wamcs, cold showers, coalypg, just watching TV. I talked to my brother for the first time in 6 moaihs today. I woke up with enyqgy and many idlas in my miod. Stay strong. 6 * yeti5000 РІ loseit